Reality is the way forward

I watched you in CD Autism.  I watched with horror after day after day you took a photo of what you called “parasites” being extracted from your child’s bowels.  You were loved, encouraged, perhaps Rivera’s favourite prodigy.  Positive likes and comments filled the group.  However I rarely saw any posts about how well your daughter was doing, or any progress made.  I left the group a while back, on the understanding enough people in there had the sense to report what you were doing to a child protection agency.  I am in the UK so couldn’t do much. 

The next time I set eyes on your profile, was in another group over a  year later.  You have changed your surname, but your photo still remains.  One I will never forget.    I looked at your profile and was shocked to discover more you are doing


Chlorine dioxide didn’t work, neither did GCMaF, I hear, but now you are raising money for a stem cell treatment

Go Fund Me

This doesn’t work either

But I guess it is pointless giving you Science links when you don’t listen to warnings about MMS

With that I really want to sit you down and have a chat. 

Your daughter has a diagnosis of severe Autism.  Life is tough, I understand that.  It isn’t your fault, it isn’t her fault.  It isn’t the vaccinations, it is no ones fault.  Some people have kids with disabilities and that is just life.   Your daughter is 12 now.  You seem to have spent so many years blaming things for the way she is, rather than facing reality.  She may never be able to live independently, she may have to go into a group home as an adult.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent that happening if she is not capable.  It doesn’t matter whether you have millions, or no money, there are no secret potions or treatments which can stop this. It is time for you to join reality. 

I know life will be hard for you, perhaps monotonous, she might be your full time job for the rest of your life.  Its probably not the life you picked, but just look at her, she’s worth it isn’t she.  I know her behaviour is probably challenging, there will be things you don’t understand, but its no parasites, its a different neurology to yours.  One you can learn all about.  Fighting it, simply doesn’t work. 

You say in your ‘go fund me’ that she is very bright.  This is awesome.  This means she can learn different communication methods if she hasn’t already.  Have you ever looked up “Carly Fleishman” your daughter could be just like her. 

Carly Fleischmann

I know many autistic adults diagnosed as severe as a child.  Many communicate from different means, some didn’t speak till their teenage years, some still don’t speak, some even managed to live independently, with only a bit of  help when needed.  No “Autism Treatments got them to this stage .

It will be a long road for you to reach autism acceptance, but please do try, for your daughters sake, she deserves to be proud of who she is. 

You are in a big group with many autistic adults, trying to make a difference.  Get tips from them, learn how to help your daughter.  Its a long road. There is no short cut, but you can do it, because deep down, all autistics ever want is to be accepted as who they are.

I will leave you with some great links and blogs written by and about adults with severe autism. 

Autism isn’t a fight that you will win.  Try learning from others about the reasons for her behaviours and it will help

Good luck

Amy Sequenzia

interview with non verbal adults

blog about a mother raising her severely Autistic son

Awesome Autistic Adults

We can all remember difficult times in our childhood.  Struggles that often make a huge impact on us even as adults, some make us stronger, some leave permanent scars, but most do both. 


Now imagine growing up not allowed to be yourself.  Being seen as a burden, strange, “not right in the head”, the things you enjoy being restricted, the things that stabilise your happiness and wellbeing being removed from you.  Many of us have vague memories of this happening, but to many autistic adults this was a daily struggle.  The embarrassed mothers, the teachers who branded them as naughty or lazy, the therapists who tried to ” normalise ” these kids.  Autism awareness was rare, acceptance decades away.  All help given was on the understanding that the child needs to be as “normal” as possible. 


Luckily nowadays parents, teachers and therapists are gradually learning that this method is unacceptable.  Without the “Wakefield effect” slowing this process down, due to unscrupulous pseudoscience salesmen, I believe we would be gaining a lot of ground.


Now I want to mention a group of people I know who suffered the above.  In my eyes they are awesome, not because I want to spew some ableist shit about surviving disabilities.   Or some pity party blog about how life as been so hard.  They don’t want that.  What they want, what they crave is for no other kids to go through all the shit that got thrown at them as kids.  They want the children’s parents to understand their kids more, be proud of them, and not spew ableist nonsense about them.


There are many autistic adults on Facebook doing just this.  If you have an autistic kid, make friends with them, learn from them, just like everyone else some will stay friends, others you will have disagreements with, some you will unfriend, (as humans we can’t all get on) but most will be only too happy to teach you their experiences of sensory issues, social differences, meltdowns and everything else that comes with being autistic.  In my opinion, the advice you will get from them will be priceless.  In exchange, treat them with the respect and friendship they deserve.


For some autistic adults though, the dedication goes further.  An amazing few venture into the dark muddy depth of Autism parenting groups.  The one I am speaking of had an incredible 54k members.  You might think, surely parents of autistic kids and autistic adults should have an instant bond, an automatic understanding, but this doesn’t always happen.  Some parents express openly their hatred of Autism, their frustration with their children, their wish for a “normal” kid or a “cured” one. This group  is also full of pseudoscience salesmen ready to pounce on the vulnerable parents, talking of vaccine damage and cure via many unethical means.  These are all difficult and triggering subjects for autistic adults, perhaps bringing back memories of past horror and abuse.   Sometimes parents try and justify their kids attending the same therapy sessions as some autistic adults were traumatised by in the form of Lovaas ABA.  Autistic adults are often silenced, or shunned, as not quite knowing what they are talking about, as they are autistic. 


However we are gradually seeing a change, the hate filled autism posts, the vaccine damaged posts, pseudoscience posts getting debunked, even the language is changing.  A small, yet huge in importance, group of dedicated autistic adults determined to make the world a better place for autistic children.  Not for fame, not for money, not for graditude, but simply because they are good people and want to help.


Autistic Adults, thank you for all you do, I know how much you guys work at this, and as an autistic Ally I will do all I can to help too.